is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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