sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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