She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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