Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
