Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
