why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
