Christians are straight up FREAKS
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize