i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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