I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Found your dick twin last night
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
