I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
