your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
