do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
