office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
