i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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