I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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