You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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