Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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