It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
