People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I didn't notice because vodka
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
