You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
