Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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