I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
