he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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