Christians are straight up FREAKS
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
