I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
