Taylor Swift is so right about you.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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