she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
