i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize