So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Your tits are I can't wait for
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
