I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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