i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
