$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
