Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
