well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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