i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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