I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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