careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think your dad took our porno
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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