Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize