Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
