Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
