just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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