Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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