You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
