Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
