i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
