so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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