i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
