Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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