So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
