In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
