I need help removing her.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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