So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
