Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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