And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
