im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
