She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
