im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize