so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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