Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
