Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
