speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
